This version of the text cannot represent certain typographical effects. Italics are delimited with the ‘_’ character as _italic_. Full page illustrations were paginated, but most times occurred in mid-paragraph. These have been moved to the closest paragraph break, and the page number included parenthetically in the caption. Minor errors, attributable to the printer, have been corrected. Please see the transcriber’s note at the end of this text for details regarding the handling of any textual issues encountered during its preparation. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [Illustration: CON-FRONT-US PIECE. THE COMPANY OF DISTINGUISHED COMEDIANS EXPRESSLY ENGAGED FOR THIS PERFORMANCE. ] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ THE COMIC HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES, FROM A PERIOD PRIOR TO THE DISCOVERY OF AMERICA TO TIMES LONG SUBSEQUENT TO THE PRESENT. BY JOHN D. SHERWOOD. “Quamquam ridentem dicere verum Quid vetat?” HORACE, Satire I. “A man may say a Wise thing though he say it with a Laugh.” _Old Song._ WITH ORIGINAL ILLUSTRATIONS BY HARRY SCRATCHLY. BOSTON: FIELDS, OSGOOD, & CO. 1870. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1869, by FIELDS, OSGOOD, & CO., in the Clerk’s Office of the District Court for the District of Massachusetts. [Illustration: WELCH, BIGELOW, & CO. UNIVERSITY PRESS. ] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ DEDICATION. ——●—— TO MY WIFE. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS. ——●—— SUBJECTS. THE COMPANY OF DISTINGUISHED COMEDIANS EXPRESSLY Con-front-us Piece. ENGAGED FOR THIS PERFORMANCE COLUMBUS DISCOVERS AMERICA Page 39 THE READER SCRAPES ACQUAINTANCE WITH THE AUTHOR 41 EXTERNAL VIEW OF THE AUTHOR’S HEAD 48 INTERNAL VIEW OF THE SAME 49 AMERICA BEFORE ITS DISCOVERY 55 TIME STOCKING AMERICA 59 THE PICTURED ROCKS AT TAUNTON ATTRIBUTED TO THE NORTHMEN, OR 66 SKALDS, OF THE ELEVENTH CENTURY LANDING OF COLUMBUS 68 DISCOVERY OF NEWFOUNDLAND 71 SIR WALTER RALEIGH INTRODUCES SMOKING TO THE ENGLISH COURT 74 AN INDIAN RESERVATION 81 THE FIRST YEAR’S CROP IN THE NEW SETTLEMENTS 87 DRAKE WITH HIS FLEET SAILS ROUND THE WORLD 94 MAP OF MARYLAND 105 ORIGINAL FULL-LENGTH PORTRAIT OF JOHN SMITH 110 LANDING OF THE PILGRIM FATHERS AND MOTHERS 118 THE SPIRITS OF THE AGE LAYING THE FOUNDATIONS OF NEW YORK 128 DUTCH GENTLEMAN TRADING WITH THE INDIANS 134 NEW JERSEY SETTLED 142 FULL-LENGTH PORTRAIT OF PENN 144 THE CITY OF BROTHERLY LOVE IN 1681 AND 1869 147 TEMPTATION; OR, THE FIRST AMERICAN “RING” 153 WOMAN’S RIGHTS IN 1637 158 THE PENALTIES OF WITCHCRAFT IN 1692 AND 1869 171 COTTON MATHER EXORCISING A WITCH 176 EXPRESSING A COLONIAL GOVERNOR FROM LONDON 189 THE SCHOOLMASTER ABROAD 201 JOLIET AND MARQUETTE DOWN THE MISSISSIPPI 216 THE “PETTICOAT INSURRECTION” IN MOBILE IN 1706 221 THE CHAMPIONSHIP FOR THE AMERICAN BELT 227 BRITANNIA FORCES TEA ON HER TROUBLESOME CHILD 236 THE SURPRISE PARTY TO FORT TICONDEROGA 247 WASHINGTON REVIEWS THE TROOPS AT CAMBRIDGE 251 A PURITAN BREAKFAST 259 ENGLISH POOR RELATIONS EATING COLONISTS OUT OF HOUSE AND 276 HOME PUTNAM’S HOME-STRETCH DOWN HORSE-NECK 293 NEW YORK EVACUATED, NOVEMBER 25, 1783 304 THE STATE TAKES LEAVE OF THE COLONY 314 THE IRREPRESSIBLE NEGRO 323 THE WHISKEY REBELLION IN 1794 338 COURTSHIP IN THE OLDEN TIME 353 SCHOOL-DAYS IN 1769 AND 1869 366 THE AMERICAN JOSS 372 LOOKING FOR A SCOUT 390 THE ROMANCE OF INDIAN WARFARE 407 ETERNAL VIGILANCE IS THE PRICE OF LIBERTY 421 THE PROGRESS OF FASHION 432 A MORMON FAMILY OUT FOR A WALK 451 THE SKEDADDLE OF JOHN B. FLOYD 461 AN INTELLIGENT JURY 468 COTTON SUPREME 483 THE CORONER’S INQUEST 500 COTTON DOWN 512 MEMBERS OF CONGRESS IN A. D. 1900 520 THE IRISH REPUBLIC IN AMERICA 529 GETTING MUDD OUT OF THE DRY TORTUGAS 533 SCHOOL-TEACHING FROM 1869 ONWARDS 542 THE AMERICAN LAOCOÖN 547 THE END 549...